I have had so many lovely messages after posting my experiences with stress and PND, so I just wanted to post an update. As I have said previously, I don’t want this blog to turn into a negative space, as it started from such a joyous place, but honesty is important. Honesty is what led me to posting my problems in the first place. It is not easy knowing that people know your business, but I couldn’t make out things were rosy when that isn’t the truth. Anyway..
Yesterday morning I had to go back to see my Doctor. She is such a lovely lady and is so kind, I ended up in tears. She looked at the questionnaire I had completed and said the score was 15. Apparently that means I have moderate to severe PND. She has prescribed me Sertraline and I have booked an appointment to see her in another two weeks time. She asked if I thought talking therapy would help me and if I do it is self referral. So I may make the appointment and see how I feel when the time comes (as it is a 3 month waiting list). So I took a pill after the appointment. She did mention I may feel worse before I start to feel better, but I didn’t feel any different during the day. However, I woke up just before midnight, I was really hot, but freezing if I poked my foot out of the duvet. I woke again at 1.30am and the baby monitor sounded like it was racing and it took so long to get back to sleep. Then Baby woke at 4am. This morning I took another pill and I have felt awful since, really sick and dizzy. I hope this doesn’t last long.
In other news Baby has decided that eating is actually not that bad. Over the last 4 days or so she has been having 3 ‘meals’ (not always proper meals) a day. She is not keen on pouched beef stew etc, but has tried scrambled eggs, fish fingers, (a small chip- don’t judge me!), (a small crumb of cake..) and a bit of garlic bread when we went out for dinner on Friday. She still has times when she isn’t as bothered, but she is generally much more interested and seems to be going the right way. We had a slightly tricky time last week, when she would feed then go down, then wake straight back up and feed again. So she was having 300ml or more before bed and she has never had that much. However, on Sunday night she had about 230ml and stayed down until 4.15am (from 6.50pm) and last night she stayed down as well. I do wish she would sleep a bit longer than 4.15am though! (but you can’t have everything!).
So hopefully the drugs will make me feel more like my old self. Then I will feel more effective. When the business is going and the other stuff sorted out, then maybe we can move forward.
Here is what I have to do in pictures