Labelled, Loved and Lucky

I had my Doctor’s appointment yesterday.  I had to fill in a form about my feelings, have a chat and then she said I have PND.  Not sure how I am meant to feel about that.  She wants me to meet with my Doctor (as she knows me better), to decide whether I should have drugs, therapy or both.  I can’t see my Doctor until 21st October, as she is away.  So I guess I just have to wait.  I don’t always feel like I have PND, there are times in the day I feel ‘normal’, but it doesn’t take much to make me think maybe there is something wrong that I can’t fix by myself.  She said it sounds like I had it initially when Baby was born (as I used to cry everyday), and they missed it.  I did well to manage it myself and now this additional stress I am going through at the moment has kicked it back off.

However, I am thankful.  I have an amazing hubby who supports me in everything I do, cooks every night, doesn’t get annoyed when the house is a state when he gets in from work and notices when I am looking ‘off’.  Others have much, much worse PND than me and have no-one, or as good as no-one, to help them.  So for Mr Hubby I am so thankful, I am loved as I am.  I am also thankful for all the lovely people who have messaged me, texted me or tweeted me.  Your kindness is lovely.

I’m sure when I get my business off the ground and my other ‘issue’ sorted, I will start to feel more like my old self.  Maybe the therapy will help me not to be so hard on myself.  Maybe the drugs will help the shaking inside.

I am so lucky to have my little family.  I think that has made it harder to accept that maybe I don’t feel quite right.  As I feel I have not got the right to feel anything but wonderful all the time.

Anyway as a little distraction and to give me something to do yesterday when Baby fell asleep on me (I know I should have been doing business stuff) I created this.

6 months 11 days


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